Conversations we miss

Read for sweet potato soup, Mystery Man and Bunny.

Jul 11, 2023

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Digitally Exhausted came to be because I wanted a place to share my thoughts on tech’s societal impact. My writing covers social media’s spaghetti-like complexities, internet culture, action steps to balance digital life, Big Tech, and anything my fingertips desire.

Reading (or listening) to Digitally Exhausted, I hope you become inspired to design a digital life for you, not default or opt-in to one.

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Pssssst… To the listeners tuning in, I talk slowly. If slow talkers are not your thing, I suggest increasing the voiceover speed to 1.5x.

The other day, I was sitting alone in a cafe, enjoying a vegan Thanksgiving sandwich on sourdough bread with a side of a sweet, yet slightly spicy, sweet potato soup.

While I was waiting for my delectable feast that somehow always seems to cure my homesickness, I was trying my best to be present in the moment—after reading an Embedded post on the writer’s experience losing her AirPods, I’ve been attempting to be more conscious of when and why I use my AirPods.

What I’ve learned: I tend to plug up when I don’t want to talk to anyone or if I feel uncomfortable.

While I have become more aware of my AirPod use, this new digital wellness experiment made me remember a conversation I had around a year ago when I initially moved to Galway on a Working Holiday Authorisation.

My first visit to Galway was in the summer of 2017. The people, places, and pubs had me head over heels in love. Galway stole my heart.

One of the first places that sparked my love for Galway was the Long Walk. And to this day—if it’s not raining too bad—I still walk to the Spanish Arch and make my way down the Claddah.

When I initially moved to Galway last year, it was every day because life felt surreal and I wanted to soak up every moment.

In terms of my relationship with my AirPods back then, they were mainly used for meetings and blaring music for my morning dance parties so I wouldn’t disturb my roommates. I never really used them around town like I do now.

I was unplugged and grinning from ear to ear, which opened the door to many conversations and many stories.

Mystery Man and Bunny

The conversation I remember having was with an elderly man walking with who I thought was his Labrador puppy but he later shared it was his daughter’s dog, Bunny.

I was walking up behind him as Bunny was tugging on his shoestring, so I took this as an opportunity to get some puppy pets in because I was desperately missing my own pooch back home in the States.

We had our brief Irish how ah ya’s and I immediately started to try to get Bunny’s attention. I had it for 5 seconds and then she went back to tugging on his shoestring, so we continued our walks together.

Do you know the saying that goes something along the lines of, people remember how you make them feel? While I don’t remember the details of our conversation, the gentleman and Bunny made me feel welcomed and that the world was my oyster. It was the loveliest conversation.

Before we parted ways, he thanked me…

He said, nowadays, people don’t have conversations like the one we just had. Now, people wear headphones and don’t talk to anyone—which I understand because of stranger danger.

The gentleman cracked my heart a bit. While he left me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the new life ahead of me, he made me sad thinking about the conversations we miss.

Finding comfort in discomfort

Waiting for my lunch, I decided to challenge myself. I wanted to see how long I could last without wearing my AirPods. It was very uncomfortable in the small cafe I was in because it felt like everyone was staring at me.

But when is there a better time to challenge yourself than when there’s a delicious reward on the way? So, I did it.

It was awful. I hated it. All I could think about was if people were watching me. I was so uncomfortable, but then I realized:

People were eating
People were drinking
People were talking
People were working
Everyone was busy doing what they were doing.

I was so immersed in my discomfort of thinking that everyone was staring at me when in reality, nobody cared about me except for my server because it was her job. I was being so silly!

Sometimes people will do anything to get comfortable. Perhaps, we should try to learn how to find comfort in the discomfort.

When I was uncomfortably waiting for my food, I found comfort in my surroundings. Between the plant-covered interior and eavesdropping on the ladies beside me exchanging gifts—they both got each other chocolate which put I smile on my face because, ya know, #chocolateislife—I got comfortable. Not comfortable enough to last my entire lunch unplugged, but enough to last until my delicious reward was plopped in front of me.

Dare to accept a challenge?

While I don’t know you, my dear reader, maybe you find this relatable. If you do, I have a challenge we can do together.

The challenge: Unplug when you usually tend to plug up.

This is not a boycott on headphones but rather an opportunity to try and live more in the moment—as well as the chance to develop more self-awareness with yourself and how you use your devices.

Sometimes having a buddy makes hard things easier. So, if you want to try challenging yourself to not wear your headphones as often, let’s do it together.

If you want to share your progress, comment on this post with a picture of your headphones and what you experienced during your time unplugged.