I quit smoking because it doesn't align with my values
Read to learn how long lasting change actually happens.
Digitally Exhausted came to be because I wanted a place to share my thoughts on tech’s societal impact. My writing covers social media’s spaghetti-like complexities, internet culture, action steps to balance digital life, Big Tech, and anything my fingertips desire.
Reading (or listening) to Digitally Exhausted, I hope you become inspired to design a digital life for you, not default or “opt-in” to one.
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Pssssst… To the listeners tuning in, I talk slowly. If slow talkers are not your thing, I suggest increasing the voiceover speed to 1.5x.
It feels almost impossible not to scroll on Reels before I go to bed or wake up without tapping snooze. These are behaviors I want to change but this is me sometimes.
Creating new or “better” habits is hard. Change in general is hard! And it can be uncomfortable. If you want to develop new habits (or change your life), I have a not-so-secret secret that will help.
If you want to establish long-lasting change, stop trying to change your behavior. Instead, reflect on your identity and values.
(Welcome to my second post sharing what I learned during Consciously Digital’s 5 Day Attention Detox Challenge. If you missed last week’s Digitally Exhausted share, you can read or listen along here to find the topics I’ll be covering in my next few posts.)
Creating your dream identity
For the past few months, my entrepreneurial and professional swing dancer dreams have taken a backseat because of distraction. However, this is slowly changing.
(Thank you 🙏 Conciouscly Digital for the inspirational seed.)
If you don’t know what your dream identity is, that’s okay—it’s called your twenties (I had to make this joke a second time). It’s true. You can even check out this list of 30 people who became highly successful after the age of 40. So don’t sweat not knowing what you want to do, or who you want to be.
But if you like exercises (not the physical kind, don’t worry), I highly encourage you to listen to this podcast episode from the Mel Robbins Podcast: 3 Steps To Finding Your North Star: An Exciting New Approach To Designing Your Life.
I strongly encourage you to tune in. It’s worth 45 minutes of your time. I promise!
For those of you who can’t wait, the 3 steps are:
Emulate
Assimilate
Innovate
But perhaps this episode isn’t for you because you already have your dream life (I’ll give a whoop whoop chicken soup to that)!
For those of us who don’t have our dream life just yet, one thing that really helps me stay on track (besides looking to my North Star) is reflecting on my values.
Reflecting on our values is important, even for those who have their dream life.
I’m glad I got tonsillitis
One of the many things I love about Ireland is the pub culture. Where there’s a pub, there’s a pint. And where there’s a pint, there’s a person. And where there’s a person, there’s a fat chat waiting to be had.
One thing about pub culture I’m not too sure about is the smoking area. While I love the chats, I don’t love the smoking.
Y’all, do not smoke. Do not let anyone convince you to roll one of those nasty boogers. If you come to Ireland (or Europe), even if it’s to “immerse” yourself in the culture—which is what I told myself rolling my first cigarette—smoking has no real purpose. And you can get nasty boogers—thankfully, I never got to this stage.
When I moved to Galway, I was tempted by an Irish lad to roll my first-ever cigarette. It was an embarrassing moment I’ll never forget, but it triggered the start of an unhealthy habit of smoking. Plus, a few months of vaping.
I stopped smoking. But it took reflecting on my values and my first (hopefully last) case of tonsillitis—while it was absolutely awful, I’m glad I got tonsillitis.
I’m not saying this will work for everyone. But change that lasts for a long time, not a short time, happens because it aligns with your values.
Self-compassion is crucial
Messing up is okay. Sometimes I still stay up way past my bedtime scrolling on Reels or YouTube shorts. Sometimes I watch 3 episodes of New Girl when I told myself I was only going to watch one. And sometimes, I hit snooze one too many times.
All of this is okay.
If I didn’t practice self-compassion, I’d just give up on my goals (e.g. when I first tried to stop smoking).
So if you’re on the road to changing your habits or identity (or whatever it is), try your best to practice self-compassion along the way.
To recap
A few key points from today’s post include:
Stop focusing on changing your behavior.
Reflect on your identity and values to create long-term change.
Not knowing who you want to be or what you want to do is okay (if this is you, please consider listening to The Mel Robbins Podcast episode).
Self-compassion is key to success.
Wherever you are, be there ✨
On one of my walks this week, I was soaking it all in, especially when I noticed pears on a pear tree. It was the first time I noticed them and it took all of my power not to just grab one and take it home with me. Instead, I settled for staring at the tree while I listened to the wind, imagining biting into one of the pears. So later I had to go to Tesco to buy pears that were ripe and ready to eat.
Content I’m consuming
📚 I’m still on the journal kick
📺 New Girl
🎙 Jazzy Women Spotify playlist
If you missed the last few shares, check out the latest Digitally Exhausted posts.
As always, my mission with Digitally Exhausted is to 🤳 inspire digital wellness so you can design a digital life for you, not default or “opt-in” to one.